She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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