Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize