no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
