I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize