Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
