the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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