I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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