So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
