Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
farters have to be the big spoon...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
