im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
