Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My vagina just clenched in fear
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
