bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
