1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
