Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Farmville is her only friend.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
