How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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