is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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