We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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