I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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