My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
now i know why i became what i already was.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
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