I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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