got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
