I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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