Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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