____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
