The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
