and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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