hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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