every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
are you so shy because you have an std?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize