i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
