One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
