I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
