Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
