brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
