JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
