sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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