what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
