Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
