I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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