well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
