You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
