do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So many bounce houses so little time
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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