if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
