And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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