I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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