sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
