Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
He kissed a someone with a penis
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The air was thick with penises
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
