oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
True college students do jello shots in the library
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
