Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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