I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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