I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
