We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
