at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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