I'm drive I can fine osifer
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
