he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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