WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
