They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
