shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
