I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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