Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
