Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
