pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
