I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
