@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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