he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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