So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
