I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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