Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
