How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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