i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
