that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
