yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize