I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
