people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
