I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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