I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
my being single is dangerous.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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