just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
