Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
