you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
