Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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